Almost empty

Today, I felt like I bragged the surprise party my friends had done for me. I was just so proud and happy because of it. I AM proud to have friends that are very thoughtful and loving. I AM happy because I am satisfied with the way things are happening in my life, especially with him.

He broke my heart a few months ago. That was the most heart-breaking memory in my life. Every time I remember the way he ignored me, the way he just left me, my heart felt empty. By that time, I was determined to commit in our relationship. I was ready to change for the better, to stop being jealous, to make him happy and to make our relationship stronger. I thought that everything would be FINE. But, it was the other way around.

I went to his house. Yes, I was the one who went just for our reconciliation. I bowed my head. I lowered by sword and shield. I opened all of my weaknesses to him. I ALMOST gave everything to him, emotionally. He was ready, ready to break our romantic relationship into friendship. I was not prepared for it. I asked him for another chance to patch things up. But, he stood in his ground. And I stood to make it up. Nothing happened.

I went back home, feeling ragged, alone. I never felt that empty before. The hole in my heart started to form, leaving a blank place. It would be empty, for some reasons my heart only knew. Days had passed. No communication. No phone calls. No text messages. No chatting. The space between us grew until we weren't able to reach to each other. I felt I was the only one reaching out. I was the only one making efforts.

There was just only me. Then, I realized how much I missed my friends. I didn't realize that my love for him was making me weaker and farther from other people. I made him my WORLD. It should not be that way. It should be BALANCED. Yet, the realization is too late.



To be continued...